I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
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there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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