It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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