My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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