the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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