He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
