the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Nicole vs. Life
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
