Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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