I am spending my child support on dildos
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
