it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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