It's Friday. Sex?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
