I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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