you turned your livingroom into a bong?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
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i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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