anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
