...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I need moral support for this bender
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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