Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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