just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize