I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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