his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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