Sry I called you an 8
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
