I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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