This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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