Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Randomize
