haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
