I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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