I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
