Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
