so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
