his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You dont lie about slip and slides
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
