i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
