The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
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Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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