I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
