Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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