waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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