Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
