I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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