Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
