he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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