It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Say something about gay babies.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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