Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
