hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
