I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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