oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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