I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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