i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
