I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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