he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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