Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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