Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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