Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
