Where did you get a picture of my penis
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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