Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
