...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
