He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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