I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
A+ Viking dick
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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