How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize