WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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