pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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