Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
