Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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