He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize