woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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