He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
